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User blog:SuperSm4shWarrior/Epic Fail Battles of History 1: Captain vs. Captain
So, User:Firebrand795 inspired me to make this with his Captain blog, so ye. Here you go. Also, this is my first crap battle. This battle features way too many captains for me to count dissing each other. 'Captain Warrior' I am Captain Warrior, you spell like Captain Wario Imma stomp on your little weenie like Mario Speaking of Mario, (Luigi death stare) 'Captain Coder' HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII (CaptainCoder.exe has stopped working. Attempting to restart.) Screw you, you're the real Captain Wario! And I'm the real Slim Shady! (Slim Shady hits Coder with a Mario Kart, having CA back him up) 'CA' I may be Captain Anonymous, but I'm not anonymous You're a gay Dewott and my penis is enormous Now take your little sword and shove it where the sun don't shine Imma kill you time after time after time after time after time after...... (this is an endless loop, causing a Belgium sized hole) 'Captain Coolface' Ever heard the song Angel of Darkness? Well, I'm..... (Captain Coolface takes off his mask, revealing a familiar red Darkrai.) 'Devilish Mind' THE DEVIL OF DARKNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111oneone LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL EAT MY CROW'S NEST! SUCK MY DONG! (Coder is revived to make Captain Coder II) 'Captain Coder II' Screw you, Eminem! Double CI in the house! I'm a pyromaniac now! (Coder burns and kills Warrior, when Captain Stark arrives on a train.) 'CaptainCommunicator' Captain Stark, you have reached your destination. 'Captain Stark' CHOO CHOO MUTHAFUCKA! SCREW YOU! I'm a freaking Mega Swampert! (Stark does crazy action poses, then Piet shoots Stark) 'Piet' Meh. 'Captain Underpants' All hail the spandex! 'Captain America All hail the bald eagle! 'Captain Obvious' I'm in a crap battle! A crap battle is a play on words! 'All' STFU!!!! 'Captain Obvious' I just wanted to be your friend! 'Captain Phillips' Yo, yo, yo Yo, yo Screw you I am in no way related to Phillip Phillips! 'Captain D's' Suck my Captain D! OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! 'Random guy' Burn, baby, bu.... (CaptainSparklez shoots the random guy with a bow and arrow.) 'CaptainSparklez' Diggin' Minecraft Style! (K-pop music) Heeeeey, sexy piggy! 'Captain Hook' Yarrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I'm so pimpin'! 'Captain Syrup' Evil Wario killer pirate coming up! Shut up, Hook, you look like a cow! Speaking of cows.... (Captain Syrup throws a cow at Captain Phillips, but Captain Mega Evo comes out of the cow costume) 'Captain Mega Evo' (various Pokémon cries) 'Captain Planet' Did somebody say "oh crap, I see trash on the ground"? 'Captain Caveman' NO! I hate you all! (Teleports to Mercury) 'Captain Cook' Can I rap, too? 'Captain Crunch' NOM NOM NOM, BEEYOTCH! IMMA EAT YOU FOR BREAKFAST LIKE NICE PETER'S WATERCOLOR UNICORNS! WHY AM I SCREAMING! BECAUSE MY CEREAL IS SO FREAKING AWESOME!!!!! 'Captain Jack Sparrow' Hey, matey, can't we just go watch Pirates of the Carribean 5 or something? No? Okay. Anyways, you all are idiots! Now shut up! 'Captain Fishbones' I'm gonna win this! I feel it in my fishbones! 'Captain Crunch' I don't think so, moron! 'Captain Captain' OHHHHHHHHHHHH! 'Captain Kirk' I'm the enterprising captain James Tiberius Kirk Representing Riverside, Iowa, Planet Earth I hear you call yourself an explorer but I'm just not having it You discovered a new world that was already inhabited 'Captain Andy Trout' SHUT UP GRANDMA! GO DRINK YOUR PRUNE JUICE! But first, let me take a selfie! (techno music) I am God! I am Goomy! I am Shrek! I AM EVEN WALUIGI! WOW! 'Captain Falcon' I have beaten you all! Why? Because I am a professional badass! FALCON PAWNCH! (Captain Falcon punches the DJ in the face, ending the battle.) WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? HINT IT'S CATBUG 0w0 EPIC FAIL BATTLES OF...... (shot with an AK) Who won? Captain Warrior Captain Coder Captain Anonymous001 Captain Coolface Captain Coder II CaptainCommunicator Captain Stark Mrpietcaptain Captain Underpants Captain America Captain Obvious Captain Phillips Captain D's CaptainSparklez Captain Hook Captain Syrup Captain Mega Evo Captain Planet Captain Caveman Captain Cook Captain Crunch Captain Jack Sparrow Captain Fishbones Captain Captain Captain Kirk Captain Andy Trout Captain Falcon Captain Alison Brie Captain Avril Lavigne Puff Puff Humbert EpicLlamaSwag42 Category:Blog posts